(no subject)

[vaznetti]

wisteria_ is collecting everyone's most loathed fanfic words. It's very funny, and you should go take a look.

I was a little surprised to see "partner" and "lover" there, though, because both are words I use in everyday contexts--I grew up with the use of "lover" for homosexual partners ("Your cousin and her lover will be coming for dinner on Tuesday" or "So-and-so's lover just got a job in Texas, so they're moving to Houston." Everyday stuff.) And I know long-term unmarried hetero couples who use "partner." This is a little less common but is usual in introductions: "Have you met So-and-so's partner?"

Is this simply a matter of social context? In places where it's bad and shameful to be gay (or to be an unmarried couple, I guess) I can see why people avoid these words--otherwise, I'm not sure.

Comments

[jcalanthe]

Interesting that you associate lover/gay and partner/straight - I think of partner as long-term/committed relationship, regardless of who's in it (and know married folks who still call each other partner). Although this is apparently a regional thing - back in VA at a wedding, I introduced B as my partner, and people did not understand what it meant (not that they asked or anything - why get clarification when a blank look and ignoring will suffice?).

But thinking about it, most fanfic isn't about long-term established relationships, and lover/partner doesn't get used in the contexts we're talking about.

[vaznetti]

Interesting that you associate lover/gay and partner/straight

This isn't an absolute distinction. I think that it's simply that when I was growing up (San Francisco, in the 70s and 80s) "lover" was the term used by gay men instead of "boyfriend." At least, the gay men I knew, most of whom were friends of my parents. Things may be different now.