Warning: I am so furious that I can barely see

[vaznetti]

One of the reasons I've been disturbed by the response to the post mamadeb made about the timing of the yuletide sign-ups is that it was exactly the kind of passive-aggressive, whiny, why-isn't-this-all-about-me? post I might make myself, if not on that precise topic. The response, frankly, seemed disproportionate to the content.

The other is... OK, that was how many days ago? Not all that many. And since then, there's been a certain amount of comment on the subject, some of it using words like "entitlement" and others using phrases like "suck it up." And in the meantime, a certain amount of straightforward anti-semitic content, and now someone went ahead and called someone else a kike. Anonymously, of course.

And I want to say that I'm surprised, and that I really don't think one thing led to the next, except that really, I wasn't, and really I do. And if you feel insulted by that, and think I'm calling you an anti-semite, maybe you should defriend me. Seriously. If you can't look at a post like this one, and see why the comments quoted are insulting and offensive... if you can't say "that was wrong," full stop, if you have to say, "that was wrong, but..." then you should defriend me.

I honestly don't care what kind of history you have with any of the people involved. This is about your history with me.

I'm thinking of a comment chopchica made on untrue_accounts' extremely sensible post on the original, yuletide issue, about how nervous Jews often are about posting on this issue, especially perhaps in contexts in which we're otherwise happy and secure, like fandom. We don't want to rock the boat. We don't want to find out what's lurking under the water. We don't want some anonymous fucktard to come along and call us a kike.

I understand that fear -- I mean, hey, it is my own fear! -- and at least in my part, it's based in distrust: my distrust of you, a group of people I know well and like very much. And you know, I don't want to distrust you. I don't want to feel like I can't speak my mind, or say that something makes me feel uncomfortable or excluded. I don't want to worry about what will happen if I seem too Jewish. I'm not too Jewish. I'm Jewish.

I'm really, really tempted to add, as a final line, "Suck it up," but I guess it would be hypocritical.

Comments

[lenadances.livejournal.com]

All I can think since I heard of this and got a whiff of what seemed to be in the air was-- if you'll excuse the expression, which under the circumstances is almost hilariously inappropriate-- Jesus Christ. What in the world is wrong with people? If a member of one group being an asshole makes the whole group questionable, then lord help me since I think that in some technical sense I share a religious background (and sadly, gender) with Ann Coulter.

I am so sorry for this. I feel like just by existing in some-vague-form-of-Christianity and filling out the numbers by one more, I'm somehow enabling fucktards like this to say "but we're the majority, so we're more important and somehow this means that you suck!" I feel like sending food, which is the way of the Midwestern Lutheran to show sympathy... except that in this case I think it would be more useful to make a solemn pledge that the next time I hear somebody talking like that, I kick them in the (physical or metaphorical) crotch. Otherwise it's like I'm saying this is okay, and it's not by any stretch of the imagination okay.

I'm grateful that you trusted us enough to speak on this-- and again, I'm so, so sorry about these fuckers. ::hugs::

[lenadances.livejournal.com]

I still felt useless, so I wrote this (http://lenadances.livejournal.com/726568.html). Admittedly as a member of the majority I can't really know what this is like, but this is my best guess. Lemme know what to fix.

[vaznetti]

I have to admit that my first exclamation was the far more profane Jesus Fucking Christ, but I thought it would be a kind of tactless way to start this post!

I hope you don't really feel like simply by existing you're part of some problem -- you aren't responsible for the hateful things that are being said, and I really appreciate your willingness to grapple with these issues from the outside -- that means a lot in itself, and I think it can be harder to speak up from the inside, because it means putting yourself on the outside, rather than just acknowledging that you're already there.

It's not OK, but it really makes a difference when other people agree that it isn't.

[lenadances.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, that was mine too! And I cut out the Fucking because I thought it would be even ruder! Considering how odd it felt to start my reply that way, I can only imagine how wacky it would seem to want to start this post that way!

I feel like only existing does make me part of the problem; only if I get off my ass and "come out" as a non-jackass (the way that ladysisyphus mentioned that straight folks could do as a gift to GLBT folks, which I think is awesome) am I not part of the problem, you know? Because otherwise I'm just letting it happen, and not thinking about it, and living in a dreamworld where we've all evolved past that stuff when it's just gone underground again. I hate that. I don't want to enjoy the rights of being in the majority and the hell of it is that it's SO EASY to just coast on that one by ignoring that it exists.

You're doing a hell of a great thing here and you and everyone else blogging about this has helped wedge my brain open a little more. My general reaction is still the same as when I watched Schindler's List and remembered that the majority of my family is German-- even if they left before the Nazis rose to power, that means it's almost unavoidable that people related to me either were Nazis or supported Nazis or just looked the other direction. I can't help that, but it feels incredibly shitty, so... anything I can do, is good. If that means pitching in on your side and shucking off some of my white-protestant privileges, I will damn well do my best.

[vaznetti]

Considering how odd it felt to start my reply that way, I can only imagine how wacky it would seem to want to start this post that way!

Well, I was all, "OK, it is probably not the best thing to start a post about anti-semitism by saying something that would pretty much have to be blasphemous to Christian ears." I am not that obnoxious.

I don't want to enjoy the rights of being in the majority and the hell of it is that it's SO EASY to just coast on that one by ignoring that it exists.

I applaud you for this -- I agree, because I know that in terms of my own privilege it's all too easy either to ignore the problem or just say, "well, there's nothing I can do about this, it's too big for me." So, you know, thank you, and I think you're doing something really marvelous here, and something we can all imitate.