possibly the most "me" meme ever

[vaznetti]

As seen just now on musesfool's livejournal:

Give me two characters from two different fandoms with which I am familiar, and I will invent a relationship for them. And if I'm not familiar with them, I will make something up. Hell, I'll make something up anyway, so...

This meme has "me" all over it. Seriously.

Comments

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Eric Weiss and Dean Winchester.

[vaznetti]

OK. It's supposed to be an FBI bust, and Weiss is only there because someone at Langley can't keep his or her mouth shut and must have bragged about Weiss being some kind of occult expert (which of course he's not but a couple years on anything related to Rambaldi and no one ever will take you seriously again). But the point is, it doesn't matter whether the rounds are silver or whatever crazy shit, it's just not supposed to be his problem.

But there he is at the stakeout -- and OK, people are paranoid, but selling ammo out of a trailer in the middle of nowhere? -- when everything goes straight to hell. Like, literally straight to hell, with flames and sulphur and the kind of shit he personally hopes never to see again, and his gun is doing no fucking good at all -- when this guy kind of stumbles out of the trailer, and Christ only knows what's in his shotgun but at least it seems to be working. Everyone else is panicking, which Weiss has a lot of sympathy for, but he'll get around to that later, when this is over -- because right now it looks like the best way to deal with this is to cover the guy with the gun that works while he watches out for this other guy who followed him out of the trailer and is now busy doing something with candles and herbs and more Latin that Weiss has heard in... well, ever.

So Weiss basically tackles this thing coming at the guy with the gun and is getting the shit beaten out of him when it just disappears, right in his hands. And so he drags himself to his feet to take a look at the damage around them -- the trailer's pretty much gone, that's one thing, and so is his car and the idiot FBI guy he's been partnereed with. Not burnt, just gone. He must have run off. And there's the guy with the Latin, saying "Guess we'll need to find another source of silver rounds, hunh?" while the guy with the gun gives Weiss a suspicious look.

So Weiss does the only thing he can, which is offer to buy them a couple beers in exchange for a ride back to civilization. And when he asks what the hell the guy -- Dean, his name turns out to be -- had in his shotgun, Dean gets this look that Weiss has always associated with Marshall Flinkman, and says, in the most un-Marshall way possible, "Family secret."

[kerlin.livejournal.com]

Hehe.

John Winchester and Irina Derevko.

[vaznetti]

I suspect that their circles overlap, particularly when it comes to dealers in esoteric manuscripts. The problem being that John can't afford to buy any, and that he sticks out like a sore thumb.

They meet because they're inspecting the same set of documents being offered on the black market. Irina can see at a glance that they've got nothing to do with anything she's interested in; John's another matter. Not the kind of person she usually encounters in these places, but he has a useful look to him, or that's what she tells herself.

She tracks him down in a dive bar, where he's nursing a double of cheap whiskey, sits down next to him, tries to start a conversation. He responds in monosyllables, rejects every opening; in the end all they do is sit next to each other and drink alone.

She leaves him the manuscript, when she goes; she thinks he might remember that he owes her something, and it was comparatively cheap. Keeps tabs on him, too, although she sometimes thinks, afterward, that if she'd known about his children she wouldn't have bothered.

[geekturnedvamp.livejournal.com]

I think this would be even more fun to do about other people's fandoms & characters... like, if I was assigned yours, I would pick Frances Crawford and Julian Sark and make up something genealogical to explain Sark's coloring, for example *g*.

That said, Irina Derevko and John Winchester.

[geekturnedvamp.livejournal.com]

*cracks up* I didn't see that before I posted... great minds. Okay, Methos and Francis Crawford (which yes I just misspelled above, even though I know he's male and was reading the books last week and have no excuse. I blame the massive sugar crash).

[resmin.livejournal.com]

Hermione Granger and Marcus Dixon.

Hah!

[vaznetti]

I can totally do this.

He's in England as an observer and hating every minute of it: long heavy dinners, long boring speeches, and the London drizzle bearing down on him wherever he goes. What he'd really like is to throw on a wig and a Jamaican accent and escape from the cycle of diplomatic functions, but you can't do that any more when you're the Director of the CIA.

The first time he meets her, she's sitting to his right at a meal honoring the Chief Undersecretary of something Dixon can barely remember: they talk about nothing during the fish course.

The second time, she's in his hotel room when he gets back. "I know I locked the door," he says. He's wary and armed and she's all the way across the room.

"You did," she said. "We needed to make contact with you, so I let myself in. It's about Arvin Sloane," she adds in a hurry. "Our sources indicate that he may well re-emerge in the near future."

"Sloane is dead," he says. "And who are you?"

"Well," she says, "he's certainly buried. And my name is Hermione Granger; I represent the Ministry for Magical Affairs."

[yahtzee63.livejournal.com]

Jack Bristow and Viktor Krum.

It's one of those deal-gone-wrong things

[vaznetti]

Viktor loves to go out into the Muggle world, where no one knows him. It's not something he can admit to, certainly not while he's still at Durmstrang, but once he's finished there, and once the war is over -- the war which leaves him doubly famous, the sports-star double-agent, and too many of his friends on both sides dead -- after that he gets away whenever he can, out on the anonymous streets of Bucharest or Belgrade, wherever he happens to be, the comforting shabby apartment-blocks rising in their socialist concrete on every side around him.

The war may be over but the habits which kept him alive through it don't fade: he watches the exits, looks in window-glass to check behind him, even keeps track of Muggle cars when he's out on the street. He's always been observant -- you have to be, to be a seeker -- and it's a skill he's honed on the Quidditch pitch and off it. His life has depended on it, in the past.

Now, he thinks, he sees too much for comfort. The older man, waiting in the Buda cafe where Viktor is sitting, wasting an afternoon with cake and a newspaper -- he doesn't quite fit. Too subtle for anyone else to notice, but his very casualness is a sign for Viktor. And once he's seen that man, he can't help noting the others, sitting against the wall, in the corners, their Muggle weapons cleverly concealed under their jackets; Viktor's hand goes to his wand even as he thinks that he should walk out of the cafe, pretend he saw nothing, no business of his. Instead he takes a bite of cake, drinks a sip of tea, waits for whatever signal will start the action.

It's not long; a man crosses the room to the counter, jostles the older man's table, reaches out to steady the cup. The older man stands up as if to apologize as the first man staggers -- for real, this time -- and slides into a chair. The other four men are slow to their feet but they're still blocking the exits. Viktor's in motion before he's had a chance to think, as someone shouts in German for a doctor. The older man is heading for the back door, and Viktor gets their first, petrifies one of the waiting thugs and just shoves the other one out of the way; the older man gives him a half-surprised glance as he goes. Viktor follows, out past the bathroom and through the kitchen to a dirty alley-way.

"Who sent you?" the man asks. "Not Sloane." German, and he has no accent, but that's not his native tongue. Viktor's sure of it.

They're out of the alley now, out on a busy street. Time to split up, certainly: this man's business is none of his. Viktor bows slightly, awkward in Muggle clothes, and answers in his rusty English. "Not Sloane," he says -- whoever that is -- "I'm one of Dumbledore's men, myself."

[juleskicks.livejournal.com]

Scully and Snape.

(... I don't know, either, they're just the first ones who came to me and I can see it being cool.)

I have no appropriate icon!

[vaznetti]

They fight all the time. She hates to admit that magic works, and complains about his methods and his ingredients; he hates the fact that she's discovered Muggle scientific principles behind half his potions, and complains that she leaves the potions lab a mess. She confronts him with his prejudices, and he just turns around and accuses her against having the opposite ones. The only time they don't fight is when they're both working on a problem; that's when she doesn't care what his methods are, so long as they work, and he doesn't care that she's invaded his life and his space and may well be smarter than he is, so long as she gets the job done.

[k2daisy.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude. This couldn't be more you if it was called "Vanzetti's Meme".

And you know that I will be reading each and every one of your replies eagerly, even though I will only know both characters from the suggestion I make. Because that part of the meme is totally me. ;-)

My picks: Kay Howard and Kara Thrace.

[vaznetti]

It is the best meme ever, isn't it? But it will take me a little while to figure out Kay and Kara.

[seferin.livejournal.com]

Connor Macleod and John Winchester

[vaznetti]

Hm. I'm actually toying with a scene betwen John and Duncan, but it will take me a little thinking to figure out something to do with Connor.

[rez-lo.livejournal.com]

Kara and Inara.

[vaznetti]

This will have to happen in that FF/BSG crossover I wrote a couple years ago for Multiverse. I may have to write a real story about this.

[phantomas.livejournal.com]

John Winchester and...*ponders* Alex Krycek :D

[vaznetti]

You pondered about that? You PONDERED?

Working on it.

(sorry! evil formatting!)

[cofax7]

Scully and the Winchesters, any one of them.

[vaznetti]

First of all, you've given me this enormous Apocafic plot bunny. Here's the opening, and I make no guarantees that there will ever be anything more of it. And Scully only appears at the end. This may be a sign that I fail at memes.

---

The world ends on a sunny Tuesday in November. All Sam wants is to be able to crack a joke about turkeys or the goddamn election or even demonic influence, but instead he just watches, numb, as the spaceships come down. First Homeland Security takes over, then the EMP goes off and there's no watching anything, any more. They hear word of camps and stay away from the cities: nothing left there anyway, Dean says. Something in the water supply.

Sam keeps his questions to himself until they're standing over the melting body of something that was wearing Ash's face when Dean stuck his knife in the back of it's neck. "Man," Dean says, "who'd have thought that asshole was telling the truth?"

"You knew this was going to happen," he says. "You knew."

"Hey!" Dean says. "I didn't know. You hear a lot of shit in this business. I ran into this guy once, we talked about shapechangers, he gave me a couple names." He frowns down at the hissing corpse. "I was kinda hoping Ash would know how to find them."

Sam finds Ash's body in the basement, wedged between the stacked cases of beer. Dean comes down from the bedrooms upstairs with a somber look and a set of coordinates. When Sam asks where he found them, Dean looks away and mutters something about knowing where to look. "They're worth checking out," he says.

They bury Ash in the back, lay seven ghosts to rest over the next three days, driving up into the Rockies. They come around a bend to the cabin just as the first snow of the season comes sifting down on them. Dean gets out first and Sam follows as the cabin door opens; the woman in the dark doorway's a tiny thing, but she's holding the rifle like she knows what to do with it, so they keep their hands where she can see them.

"Stop there," she tells them.

"We're looking for some friends of ours," Dean starts. "Might've come through here, a mother and daughter."

No change on the woman's face, cold and pale in the thin winter light. "Look," Sam starts. "I'm Sam Winchester, this is my brother, Dean. We're not here to cause any trouble."

"I'm going to have to see your blood," she says.

"We're not shapechangers," Dean says.

"I'm sure you're not." The rifle doesn't move.

"OK," Sam says. "OK. I'm reaching for my knife now. But you know, this is really unsanitary."

She snorts at that, but doesn't really relax until she sees the red on the knife.

end.

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Jack Bristow and John Winchester.

Or:

Sydney Bristow and Sam Winchester.

[vaznetti]

I really want to write Jack and John, because they're similar under the skin, but I do fear that if they ever met the world would end. But Rambaldi is such a good plot device that it will cover almost any eventuality, and obviously Jack must know John, because Jack knows all kinds of people. Actually, I suspect Jack knows someone who knows John -- Pastor Jim, maybe, someone like that -- and he sends Jack to John for something strange and specific. To make the timing work, it would have to be pre-series for SPN at least, but it might be interesting to set it pre-Alias as well, while Jack was still estranged from Sydney, during Sam's years in high school -- because in that setup you can get both men alone. I doubt they'd ever talk about their children, but it could be a story which deals somehow with children, and you could use that to bring out their respective difficulties.

Sydney and Sam would just be funny, though. She'd be on a mission and underdressed, and he'd be huge and awkward, and they'd bond over being the special chosen children of creepy supernatural figures with secret prophecy-driven agendas. But Dean would hit on Sydney, and then she'd have to hurt him.

[thimble-kiss.livejournal.com]

Covarrubias or Krycek with Krum, please. All three, if you're feeling generous. Set in context of your Parallel Catastrophes if you like. :)

[vaznetti]

Oooh! Parallel Catastrophes! I may need to think about this a bit; presumably you won't mind if Hermione appears as well? In the meantime, Viktor shows up in one of the pieces above.

[rhi]

Joe Dawson and either John Winchester or Malcolm Reynolds. ::whistles innocently and *doesn't* put this meme up...::

[vaznetti]

You should totally do this meme! Although since all I'm doing is writing drabbles, I can see why you wouldn't want to.

[very-improbable.livejournal.com]

Clodia Pulcher and Methos.

[vaznetti]

It was just a fling. Really, he was after Caelius at the time (the only reason he was out swimming in the river that day), but it wasn't as if he was going to turn down a woman with Clodia's reputation. He gave her a pet bird, they spent a good three months together, and parted on amicable terms.

Since I know how much you love Canadians...

[aceofkittens.livejournal.com]

Benton Fraser and Nick Knight.

Re: Since I know how much you love Canadians...

[vaznetti]

Well it's obviously a case of some kind; Nick ends up tracking a suspect to Chicago, and has to hook up with Fraser to solve the crime. (This will be during the Vecchio years, because I like him better, and he and Nick can have that whole "look at my very cool, very old car" thing together). Fraser will have the idea that something is wrong, but won't believe Dief when Dief tries to tell him that Nick's a vampire, because ghosts are one thing but that doesn't mean that vampires exist. Dief and Nick will bond about this. Actually, everyone will bond with Nick except Fraser -- he and Nick will fail to connect, somehow.

[celli]

OMG, the options! I think my brain just exploded right here in your LJ.

[vaznetti]

Best. Meme. Ever.

Hah! Another crossover fan!

[doqz.livejournal.com]

Methos(Needs no introduction) and Willow (BTVS).

Re: Hah! Another crossover fan!

[vaznetti]

Sometimes I think about writing stories that aren't crossovers; then another plot bunny comes by and I forget all that nonsense.

[(Anonymous)]

Mary Winchester and Chiana.

(And now that I think on this, this would have been easier than I thought, but I'd like to hear your version.)

- hg

[vaznetti]

Unfortunately, I've never seen the Farscape episode that would make this work, so I'll have to come up with some other mechanism for you.

[petitevanou.livejournal.com]

just found this post! I love the idea of crossovers yet, I have never read a single one!

here is my suggestion if you are still up for it ;) , Leoben Conoy and Anakin Skywalker