Warning: I am so furious that I can barely see

[vaznetti]

One of the reasons I've been disturbed by the response to the post mamadeb made about the timing of the yuletide sign-ups is that it was exactly the kind of passive-aggressive, whiny, why-isn't-this-all-about-me? post I might make myself, if not on that precise topic. The response, frankly, seemed disproportionate to the content.

The other is... OK, that was how many days ago? Not all that many. And since then, there's been a certain amount of comment on the subject, some of it using words like "entitlement" and others using phrases like "suck it up." And in the meantime, a certain amount of straightforward anti-semitic content, and now someone went ahead and called someone else a kike. Anonymously, of course.

And I want to say that I'm surprised, and that I really don't think one thing led to the next, except that really, I wasn't, and really I do. And if you feel insulted by that, and think I'm calling you an anti-semite, maybe you should defriend me. Seriously. If you can't look at a post like this one, and see why the comments quoted are insulting and offensive... if you can't say "that was wrong," full stop, if you have to say, "that was wrong, but..." then you should defriend me.

I honestly don't care what kind of history you have with any of the people involved. This is about your history with me.

I'm thinking of a comment chopchica made on untrue_accounts' extremely sensible post on the original, yuletide issue, about how nervous Jews often are about posting on this issue, especially perhaps in contexts in which we're otherwise happy and secure, like fandom. We don't want to rock the boat. We don't want to find out what's lurking under the water. We don't want some anonymous fucktard to come along and call us a kike.

I understand that fear -- I mean, hey, it is my own fear! -- and at least in my part, it's based in distrust: my distrust of you, a group of people I know well and like very much. And you know, I don't want to distrust you. I don't want to feel like I can't speak my mind, or say that something makes me feel uncomfortable or excluded. I don't want to worry about what will happen if I seem too Jewish. I'm not too Jewish. I'm Jewish.

I'm really, really tempted to add, as a final line, "Suck it up," but I guess it would be hypocritical.

Comments

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

I'm friending you.

That is all.

[vaznetti]

Right back at you.

[very-improbable.livejournal.com]

I--I--I'm sorry, WHAT the fuck happened? What the FUCK?

I don't think I like people anymore.

[vaznetti]

Well, most people are being really nice. But apparently, by pointing out that Yuletide has Christmas-related connotations, we are oppressing you. Or something.

I suppose it's best to know who's who.

[cofax7]

Oh, my.

Inasmuch as I can, I got your back. And like I told Mely, I shake my small fists of Catholic rage on your behalf.

{{you}}

[vaznetti]

You did choose a good week to be away from fandom.

I thank you and your small fists of Catholic rage.

[cassandre.livejournal.com]

Wow. I have just been reading through links, and it's been an education. I never would have dreamed that anti-semitism was alive and well to this extent, in what seems like the (relatively) intelligent/literate/innocuous context of fandom.

I'm so sorry you've had to encounter this kind of prejudice in a community that means so much to you. :( {{{{{vaznetti}}}}}

[vaznetti]

It's been pretty horrific; like you say, I really had no idea that this kind of thing was lurking around in fandom. I started to get a little nervous from the start, on Wednesday and Thursday, because of the tone of some of the commentary, and then basically woke up to the disaster on Friday

Thank you for the hug.

[jezrana.livejournal.com]

...Whoa, okay. I eyerolled a bit at both the original post and the overreaction in the comments to it, and then I stopped paying attention for a while, and now people are being called kikes?

This is why we can't have nice things, fandom.

[vaznetti]

Things got out of hand really quickly. One minute you're rolling your eyes, and the next you're sitting there in shock thinking, what the hell did I just read? It's been a little scary, actually.

[zeltkaiserin.livejournal.com]

well said.

every year since I was a kid there has been some new version of this for me in my life. there was loving to sing, but starting to hate choir and finally quitting it, because of I was fed up with having to sing the same christmas songs over and over and over again from october to the end of december.

there's my christian cousins who "feel sorry for me because I don't really get the holiday."

there's feeling like I have to justify, defend, and ameliorate any comments with the preface, "I really do love a lot of things about Christmas, you know..."

there's the bittersweetness of actually loving a lot of things about christmas, but also being repelled by many aspects of how it takes over the whole culture and not feeling like I can explain myself well.

basically there's always that moment of "I don't feel comfortable; I'm tired of not feeling comfortable" and every year it unfolds in a different way.

[vaznetti]

Thank you. I agree with a lot of what you have to say, here. It's not that I object to other people celebrating their own holidays, or that I even object to being exposted to Christmas myself -- but I also need to get away with it. And eventually, the presumption that I will celebrate it becomes wearing. It happens again and again, and most of the time I don't object and say, "actually, I'm Jewish and will not have a tree in my house," or whatever, because what's the point? But it's wearing.

[bardsmaid.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this post.

The thing about being in the majority is that one can easily be unaware that there are any divisions at all. I'm reminded of a conservative white guy who went on a tirade in a newspaper article once about how he never thought about being white as he went through his day, so all those minorities whining about race-consciousness should just suck it up and get on with life. My immediate thought: go take a walk through South Central (L.A.) and see how white you feel!

The trouble, of course, is that you have to be willing to step into someone else's shoes/ethnicity/social position/circumstances--and temporarily step out of your majority position--in order to begin to understand what they face, and my experience is that not nearly enough people are willing to do this, or to invest the energy it requires. Which is sad, to say the least.

But I'm glad to have gotten a better glimpse, through your post and the comments that have been made, of what you must face every day. Lenadances' analogy was very helpful, too. Sorry this issue has exploded the way it has and rained its muck over the Jewish contingent in fandom, but hopefully some greater understanding will have come out of it. A little enlightenment is better than no enlightenment at all. It's a step in the right direction.

[vaznetti]

Sorry this issue has exploded the way it has and rained its muck over the Jewish contingent in fandom, but hopefully some greater understanding will have come out of it. A little enlightenment is better than no enlightenment at all. It's a step in the right direction.

I keep reminding myself of this.

It's been frankly very hard, and I've been able to shelter myself from a lot of the worst of it. As you say, people are often very reluctant to admit to their own ignorance -- I mean, I know that I am as well, I don't claim any special insight or position here -- and it can be very hurtful when what they're refusing to acknowledge is that they have hurt you.

But still, as you say, it's a step.

[em-h.livejournal.com]

This is the first day I've been able to catch up on the full extent of this, and, oh man. I knew already that you don't have to scratch the surface of the dominant paradigm very deep for the anti-Semitism to come flooding out -- sadly, I see this on a regular basis -- but I feel so bad for everyone who's been a direct or indirect target of the current grossness.

As a semi-professional Christian (divinity school student, to be precise), I figure it's my proper place to tell my co-religionists to suck it up. So I have done. So few people read my LJ that it's not likely to make much of a difference, but I hope it might at least help people feel a tiny bit less alone.

[vaznetti]

Div school! How neat! (Sorry, I have fond memories of div school classes from my grad school days.)

And thank you -- both for the comment and the post, although I don't quite know that it's my place to speak to the post, if that makes any sense, being on the outside of that particular dynamic.

It has been gross -- as I seem to keep saying, it got very ugly, very quickly. But there has been some good discourse coming out of it, and I'm grateful for that.

[em-h.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's neat. Sometimes it's pretty depressing -- the depths of pious ignorance I encounter make me afraid for the future of the Anglican priesthood. But it has its good moments.

Yeah, the post was really addressed, as I said, to other Christians, so don't feel there's any need for you to respond. Actually I expect no one will respond, as the kind of people I was theoretically addressing don't read my LJ in the first place.