vaznetti: (Bristow - hands)
[personal profile] vaznetti
This is [livejournal.com profile] musesfool's fault (and somebody should probably try to keep track of the number of crack-addled posts that begin with those words). She had this idea for an Alias/Firefly crossover, and I kind of ran with it. No relation to that other Firefly/Alias crossover that I might get back to someday.




From now on, Mal decided, they were only taking jobs that looked hard to start with. Nothing with a small cargo and a big payoff and folks promising it was nothing the authorities were interested in. And no handsome women, neither. Zoe told him he was developing a weakness for handsome women, and she was right. And if one handsome woman was a curse, two were a downright pestilence.

He cracked one eyelid open, blinking at the dried blood. Yes, there she was, staring right at him. "Do I have your attention, Mr. Reynolds?" Mal grunted, which seemed to be sufficient. "Are you still insisting that you have no idea where the artifact is, or the woman who gave it to you?"

"I ain't exactly had a chance to go looking since the last time you asked me," he pointed out.

That got him another jolt of pain. "Was that meant to be humorous?"

"It's the truth." He thought about adding a "ma'am," but the situation didn't seem to call for it.

"We'll see about that." She took a couple steps back. "Get rid of him." That sounded bad enough for Mal to start struggling again, but between the beating and the ropes tying him to his chair there wasn't much he was good for.

He came to when he hit the floor. Yeah, it was the floor of a cell, and here he was being dragged across it and getting one hand chained to the wall. Beat being tossed out the airlock, any day. No major bones broken and his teeth mostly seemed to be where he'd left them: he'd had worse days. "Handsome woman, that," he said to the air once the guards were gone, "but she does have a cruel streak."

There was a dry chuckle, and what Mal'd figured was a pile of rags in the opposite corner sat up and resolved itself into a man. Blow to the head must have made his vision blurry and his brain slow: chaining a pile of rags to the wall didn't make much sense, now that he thought about it.

"I should warn you," the man said, "that the woman you're speaking of is my wife."

"Hunh," Mal said. He regarded the other man a while: older than him by more than a few years, with a couple bruises on his face and the promise of more what remained of a white shirt. "Your wife make a habit of torturing you and tossing you into a cell?"

"That isn't relevant to our situation."

It seemed plenty relevant to Mal. "Just making conversation, Mr. Derevko."

"Bristow," the man said. "My name is Bristow."

He sounded like it mattered to him. "You know, Mr Bristow," Mal started, "I've never been married myself..." Unless you counted Saffron, anyway, which he didn't, although now that he thought about it a moment, this was just the kind of situation a man married to a woman like Saffron might expect to end up in. Maybe she wasn't as unusual as he'd figured.

"You were saying?" Bristow said.

"Hunh?"

"You were saying that you'd never married." The chains attaching Bristow to the wall were clinking a bit.

"Right," Mal said. "You reckon this kind of thing is typical, between husbands and wives?"

"We had a disagreement."

"Some disagreement," Mal said. Bristow kept fiddling with his chains. "What're you doing, over there?"

"What's your name?"

"Malcolm Reynolds."

Bristow yanked at the links a moment. "Mr. Reynolds, do you know what the chief cause of death is in men of your age group?"

Mal thought a moment. "Fishing accidents?"

"Stupidity. Please try not to be stupid." Bristow fiddled a little more, and all of a sudden the chain fell away from the wall. "As should be obvious by now," and now he was across the room and leaning over Mal, "I am escaping." He frowned at the manacle around Mal's wrist.

"Don't suppose you're in the market for an accomplice?"

Bristow smiled, dry and quick. Then the door burst open and he whirled around like he'd been expecting it. Two men rushed in and he whirled the chain around and knocked out the second before he was properly in the room. Mal shouted, "hey!" and threw himself to the side more by reflex than anything else; Bristow was already on the first guy. Three blows and a crunching noise, and he lay on the floor. Bristow had both men's guns and the keys in his hand while Mal was still catching his breath. He unchained himself and stood up.

"Hey," Mal said. "You gonna leave me here?"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?" Bristow asked.

"You don't really went to leave me alone here with that wife of yours, do you? Handsome woman like that, and all."

"Don't flatter yourself," Bristow said. But he came over and unchained Mal anyway.


That's all I've got. But there should be rescuing. And Sydney and River should work together.

Date: 2006-05-03 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kerlin.livejournal.com
LOVE. So very Jack. I do think he and Mal would get along unexpectedly well.

Also, at some point Anna Espinosa should show up. Just to mess with everyone's heads.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2006-05-04 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] resmin.livejournal.com
That is fantastic. Jack Bristow, Mal Reynolds, their "wives" and all the hilarity that ensues.

Date: 2006-05-04 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fourteenlines.livejournal.com
Mr. Derevko. HA!

And fishing accidents. *snerk*

Date: 2006-05-04 01:18 am (UTC)
ext_1310: (blue-eyed son of a hurricane)
From: [identity profile] musesfool.livejournal.com
Awesome! I take full responsibility! Especially if Jack can meet River at some point. And the reference to Saffron is priceless.

Date: 2006-05-04 02:53 pm (UTC)
ext_1310: (River)
From: [identity profile] musesfool.livejournal.com
(I really want to see Sydney trying to deal with River, personally. Because she'd find it so frustrating!)

Yes! And River would blather about Rambaldi and it would be awesome.

Date: 2006-05-04 02:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ossiannic.livejournal.com
Hee! This totally brightened my morning. You've written the voices so clearly I can hear them.

One odd spot though... with a couple of bruises on his face and the promise of more beneath what remained of a white shirt... maybe?

Date: 2006-05-04 04:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] castaliae.livejournal.com
I've never seen Alias so I was a little lost, but even still I want to know what happens next. Thanks.

Date: 2006-05-04 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-jackalope.livejournal.com
This is really awesome. Fantastic even. And there should be more. Wash and Weiss, no Marshall, need to get together.

Date: 2006-05-04 07:13 pm (UTC)
medie: queen elsa's grand entrance (alias - slytherin - lauren)
From: [personal profile] medie
*chokes*

*dies*

I love you. That rocked muchly!

Date: 2006-05-04 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qill13.livejournal.com
Squee! This is lovely.

Date: 2006-05-05 05:38 am (UTC)
ext_8719: (serenity)
From: [identity profile] st-aurafina.livejournal.com
Here from [livejournal.com profile] musesfool

This was brilliant! Really clever, and strangely feasible.

Date: 2006-05-05 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] profshallowness.livejournal.com
This was fabulous fun. You captured so much of what would happen in a meeting between Jack and Mal (also here via [livejournal.com profile] musesfool.(

Date: 2006-05-05 08:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] militant-barbie.livejournal.com
oh wow this is so cool, jack was perfect, and the alias verse could actually fit in well with ff, what with all the crazy conspiracies. hope they'll be more with other cast members, i can totally see syd and zoe on a job together!

Date: 2006-05-06 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] militant-barbie.livejournal.com
oh wow, that would totally work. the verses really work together when you think about it, the torture scene on war stories is completely alias, their both all about the heists, the evil governments, not knowing who can be trusted. i really hope you go with the story, it could be really great!

Date: 2006-05-05 11:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redshoeson.livejournal.com
Here via [livejournal.com profile] musesfool. This is awesome; the dialogue is spot-on. ^^

Date: 2006-05-20 02:34 pm (UTC)
celli: a woman and a man holding hands, captioned "i treasure" (Kaylee)
From: [personal profile] celli
Fishing accidents! *dies laughing*

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