FIC: XF/Alias

[vaznetti]

I did it! I finally wrote something for the Spy Crossover Challenge! Not porn, although Krycek says "fuck" a lot.


Title: Free and easy ways to save the planet
Author: Vanzetti
Category: XF/Alias crossover (for the Spy Crossover Challenge!)
Spoilers: Set post-S2 for Alias and post-series for XF; presumes knowledge of both shows. Don't ask me how Krycek's alive.
Rated: R for language
Disclaimer: Sure, I invented the X-Files and Alias. Also chewing gum, peanut butter, and sliced bread.
No, seriously, folks: JJ, CC and attendant corporations.
Thanks: to Rez for beta-reading
Summary: Two men, one goal, very little sanity: this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.





That was the thing about the old men--you could never get rid of the bastards. They didn't die when they were supposed to, and even if you did finally manage to kill one off another one just sprang right up in his place. At least Arvin Sloane had never tried to murder him, which put him well ahead of pretty much everyone else Krycek knew.

There he was, all dressed up in some kind of fancy white suit with a fucking gin and tonic in one hand like he's been tossed up on the beach by the retreat of the British Raj. Those Alliance types had always been the best-dressed bunch of crooks Krycek had ever had the pleasure of dealing with. There was visible security standing at the bar--there would have to be, with Sloane dressed like that in a place like this--and no doubt a few invisible watchers as well. Krycek didn't let it bother him. Sloane's really dangerous confederates were all MIA or in custody. That was why he was here, after all. That was why Sloane might take his offer.

No point trying to hide. Sloane saw him right away and waved the guards back when he walked up to the table and slid into a chair.

"Mr. Krycek," Sloane said. The way his eyes lit up when he smiled was almost enough to make Krycek reconsider the whole thing: the last thing he wanted was another crazy old man riding his tail. "What brings you to Khorugh?"

"I'm thinking of climbing a mountain." Because yeah, all he really needed was to lose a couple toes to frostbite in addition to the fucking arm. What the hell did Sloane think he was doing here? "And I heard a rumor."

Sloane raised an eyebrow and steepled his hands together.

Asshole, Krycek thought. Those old men never did any of the work. "A rumor about a weapon." That was it, though, He sat back and waited for Sloane to pick up the cue.

"I think you may be disappointed, Mr. Krycek. I'm no longer interested in weapons. I've had what you might call a change of heart. I received a message." Sloane's voice had gone soft and he was staring out past Krycek's shoulder. "A message."

Jesus fucking Christ. "This is a very special weapon, Mr. Sloane. It was used once, in Mexico City. In a church," he added, just in case Sloane really had found God and now cared about who got killed in his crazy plans. "You gave it to a third-rate Afghan warlord, and the CIA stole it from him before he could use it. You stole it back from the CIA last spring."

Sloane leaned back in his chair. "Alex--may I call you Alex?" and of course he didn't wait for Krycek to say yes or no, "Have you ever had a life-changing experience? Have you ever had your entire world-view turned upside down, and realized that the path you were on was leading you somewhere you never expected?"

Every fucking morning, Krycek thought. "Arvin," he said, because he was seriously, seriously unhappy with the way this conversation was going, "you made me an offer once. An offer of employment."

"Which you turned down."

"I had other projects. Important projects."

"And now you want to renegotiate." Sloane sighed and took a sip of his drink. "Alex, I want to be honest with you. I've seen something... something I can't explain. I've turned away from the life I knew, from everything I thought mattered. I intend to work to save lives, to repair some of the damage I've done to the world. I can't possibly let a weapon like the one you're thinking of loose in the world."

What the hell had Sloane taken? Whatever it was, Krycek knew an opening when he saw it. He leaned forward and tried to look earnest. "Can you protect it?" Sloane didn't answer, so he kept talking. "Listen, Arvin, I'm not the only one who's heard about that weapon. Someone else is going to find it, and they're going to try to take it from you. I'm willing to pay a fair price and in addition--" and if he'd misjudged Sloane he was in trouble, but the absolute truth was too fucking funny to pass up "--in addition I can guarantee to you that I will not use it against another human being."

The look Sloane was giving him made him wonder whether the old man had picked up special mind-reading powers along with whatever this revelation thing was. His head was tilted and his fingers were steepled again. "How long have you been lying about what you're doing, Mr. Krycek?"

"I'm offering you a deal that will benefit us both, Sloane." Half his instincts were screaming at him not to rush the negotiation and the other half were screaming at him to get the hell out of there. In another minute or so, self-preservation was going to win out. He could steal the goddamn weapon himself.

"I'm sure you are." Sloane was leaning forward now, and Krycek couldn't break eye contact. This was supposed to be a simple deal, a few jobs for Sloane but the payoff would be worth it. "How many lives do you intend to save, if I give you this weapon?"

This whole situation was fucking insane, and he was in well over his head but if there was one thing Krycek knew he could do it was improvise. "Six billion. Give or take a few." Take that, Sloane. Less than a ten year countdown to the end of the world and he had better things to do with his time than answer questions in this shithole dive in at the ass end of Tajikistan.

Sloane actually fucking smiled at him. "It's a relief to tell the truth, isn't it, Mr. Krycek. No?" He shrugged and kept talking. "The device you want is in a warehouse in Coventry. This is the address and these are the combinations for the security systems." Of course he was writing with a gold pen on some kind of fancy paper, Krycek saw: whatever the hell had happened to him hadn't changed Sloane's extravagant tastes.

"And the price?"

Sloane looked up from the paper and met his eyes. "There is no price, Mr. Krycek. I believe you."

That was the most frightening thing he'd heard in years. "There's always a price."

"Not this time. You may find other things in the warehouse that interest you. Feel free to take them."

"The price, Sloane. Don't jerk me around."

"I'm completely serious. Do you believe in fate, Mr. Krycek? Because I do. I believe that I have been fated to meet with you here, today, and to offer you my help." The paper slid across the table with a hiss. "Think about it, Mr. Krycek. I believe that I may be in a position to offer you a great deal of help."

His legs knocked the chair backward as Krycek stood up: the instinct to run was making him clumsy and he had to force his hand to remain steady as he took the paper and hid it in his jacket. Even his sense of self-preservation wasn't enough to make him leave it there, but he'd be very careful before he got anywhere near that warehouse. "We'll see about that," he said. "You say you believe me--that doesn't mean I believe you, Mr. Sloane." He backed away, scowling at Sloane, scowling at the protection, scowling at the whole goddamn room.

Fuck those old men. No way was he letting Sloane anywhere near his operations, whatever help the man thought he was offering.

end.


What's the archiving situation with these? I know Shrift and Nestra want to archive, but can I send it out to lists and archives?

Comments

[nestra.livejournal.com]

Oooh. Creepy-ass Sloane. In fact, I think genuine Sloane might be creepier than out-to-rule-the-world Sloane.

I know Shrift and Nestra want to archive, but can I send it out to lists and archives?

shrift and I certainly sent ours to lists and archives, so as far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever you like with it. Once we get the fic, we're easy to please.

[vaznetti]

In fact, I think genuine Sloane might be creepier than out-to-rule-the-world Sloane.

I agree. Krycek seems to agree as well, because Sloane creeped him out too. Glad you liked it!

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

Hee. ::chuckles in evil glee:: I like this very much. Of course, now I want to see the *full* crossover -- the CIA joins forces with Krycek to stop the invasion, a wonderful mix of characters from both shows -- and will possibly nag you to write it. *g*

.m

[vaznetti]

I saw your "amuse me!" post and thought, "hm... I wonder if that fic will help?" Glad it did.

Of course, now I want to see the *full* crossover -- the CIA joins forces with Krycek to stop the invasion, a wonderful mix of characters from both shows -- and will possibly nag you to write it.

::covers her ears:: lalalalala! I can't hear you!

Only the knowledge that I didn't need to write the whole darned story allowed me to write this much! Please! (OK, I admit it, I'm a little tempted. It would be very AU. It would be funny. It would... NO! Stop tempting me!)

[cofax7]

*pokes V with a sharp stick*

I wanna read that too!

[vaznetti]

See, now you've made me think... I'd feel obliged to break Sark out of prison, but could I keep Julia and Simon? Since frankly I think canon and I parted ways the minute I set pen to paper on this one...

[medie]

Oh pweaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you *must* write it!

I wanna see this. I wanna see Marita take Sydney, Jack & Company to task. I wanna see her and Krycek show these guys what a conspiracy really is. *G*

Plus, y'know? It'll be FUN! *G*

[vaznetti]

Glad you liked this one. As for a continuation, I'll have to think about it--I'm not sure I'd write what you envision.

[medie]

Bah, those're just suggestions. I can't recall the last story you wrote that I didn't love so...pfft. *G* As long as you write I'm happy! *G*

[themoonbar.livejournal.com]

I'm with Maren-- keep going! These worlds seem very compatible. As it is, however, I love your Krycek voice and your Sloane is properly creepy. I don't blame Krycek for being unnerved one bit. *g*

[vaznetti]

Thank you! I knew Sloane was creepy when I wrote a frightened Krycek and didn't question it. Sloane scares me too.

[spican.livejournal.com]

It's always entertaining to see Krycek manipulating and being manipulated with the truth. Or half-truth. Anyway, great Krycek voice, and your Sloane intrigues me.

Hee on this--

Have you ever had your entire world-view turned upside down, and realized that the path you were on was leading you somewhere you never expected?"

Every fucking morning, Krycek thought.

--and I liked the six billion line. I could hear him say it.

[vaznetti]

I'm glad you enjoyed it--even with minimal Alias information--Krycke getting ahead by telling the truth was too tempting to resist. I'm becoming fond of crazy uncle Arvin myself, which is a little worrying.

Poor Krycek. He just never gets a break.

[rez-lo.livejournal.com]

Adding to the "more please" groundswell. Along with everything else I'd really, really like Alex to meet Jack Bristow. Not to mention Irina.

And what brings you to Khorugh?

[vaznetti]

Adding to the "more please" groundswell.

I'm detecting a trend here. Maybe in snippets, the way I did Parallel Catastrophes? That was I won't have to worry about having a big plot and making everyhting connect.

And we could put Will and Mulder in a room together...

[rez-lo.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's the ticket...

Ooooh.

My brain is melting.

[deslea.livejournal.com]

I know nothing, but nothing about Alias (except that Sydney drives me bugnuts) but this was so very very cool. Love the Krycek voice.

And I think the Krycek lists/archives would want it.

Sloane raised an eyebrow and steepled his hands together.

Asshole, Krycek thought. Those old men never did any of the work.

Tee hee!

[vaznetti]

I understand that you can never watch Alias due to your Sydney Bristow Issues, but that's a shame, because you'd probably like most of the otehr characters.

Thanks for sticking with it despite that--and yes, I liked the KJrycek voice too. He's so much fun to write.

[elishavah.livejournal.com]

Hee. Creeped out, paranoid Kryceck is fun.

*pokes for more*

What? Cicero's not satisfied with getting a draft?

[vaznetti]

More may have to wait for inspiration. And free time. I wrote this instead of Cicero ::hangs head in shame::

I'm so pleased you liked it!

[ossiannic.livejournal.com]

*rotfl* You have the Krycek voice down brilliantly! I love how this is so terribly funny and completly in-character for both of them. What a fun read. *g*

[vaznetti]

Glad you liked it--Krycek is a lot of fun to write. Once I realized that it was supposed to be his point of view, not Arvin's, the scene flowed easily.

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

Oh, jeez. That was perfect. Of course if there were one person left on Earth who could creep out Alex Krycek, it'd be Saint Arvin.

[vaznetti]

Thanks so much--I'm glad you liked it.

Of course if there were one person left on Earth who could creep out Alex Krycek, it'd be Saint Arvin.

The new Sloane is, in all seriousness, one of the creepiest TV characters ever. I just adore him.

[auburnnothenna.livejournal.com]

Chiming in to say how much more snippets like this would please. Loved creeped out Krycek, and how perfect it is that the most disturbing thing he could encounter is someone who offers him something for free.

Loved this little aside, too.

Those Alliance types had always been the best-dressed bunch of crooks Krycek had ever had the pleasure of dealing with.

[vaznetti]

Loved creeped out Krycek, and how perfect it is that the most disturbing thing he could encounter is someone who offers him something for free.

Yes, that's rather typical of Krycek, isn't it? He doesn't usually encounter people who don't have agendas. (And given that he's dealing with Crazy Uncle A, I think a little suspicion is justified.)

Thanks for the note--I'll have to think about more.

[rhi]

["]I'm willing to pay a fair price and in addition--" and if he'd misjudged Sloane he was in trouble, but the absolute truth was too fucking funny to pass up "--in addition I can guarantee to you that I will not use it against another human being."

I thought surely someone else would comment on this, but I laughed so hard on that line that Dragon had to come smack me on the back and remind me to breathe. Oh, this was *lovely*, and I know nothing about Alias! (Never can remember to turn a TV on. Bad gryph.) Thanks *so* much for a lovely fic.

(Yes, before you ask, I *am* working on that Methos/Krycek Halloween story. I'm even going to have it done in time. WHEE!)

[vaznetti]

I thought surely someone else would comment on this, but I laughed so hard on that line that Dragon had to come smack me on the back and remind me to breathe.

I was grinning madly the whole time I was writing this scene. That line especially--I think you have to be well acquainted with a certain type of Krycek, but it was just too, too perfect. The weapon in question incinerates people from a distance--a lot easier than having to use a plam, I bet.

I hear that one can rent Alias DVDs. Because you need another fandom, really. ;->

[rhi]

I hear that one can rent Alias DVDs. Because you need another fandom, really. ;->

::giggling:: I do, actually! *And* I need a show to sprawl on the couch and across my husband and watch, too!. Really. I need to find these DVDs. Now, I also need to get more people to write Matthew McCormick.... Got any suggestions?

[vaznetti]

Now, I also need to get more people to write Matthew McCormick.... Got any suggestions?

I think you're very successful at getting other people to write Matthew. I'm going to have ot pick up that half-written piece I have with Matthew investigating Krycek's "death" in the FBI garage. Except that Amanda keep trying to take that story over...

[rhi]

Yes! Yes, you are! Please!

And, er, the good news is, I finished the Methos/Krycek. The bad news is, I'm trying to figure out who to get to beta it. Should be out for Halloween though! (More McCormick -- yes!!)

[cassandre.livejournal.com]

Wow, a crossover fic that I can understand and appreciate!

I really like the way you crafted this encounter. Krycek honest and Sloane good... now THAT is twisted of you.

[vaznetti]

Krycek honest and Sloane good... now THAT is twisted of you.

Thank you. Krycek, of course, is perfectly willing to tell the absolute truth, so long as it will get the job done. And hey, maybe Sloane really will save the world! It wold be funny...

[k2daisy.livejournal.com]

God. Yes, you did it again, my Evil Empress; you sucked me into yet another crossover in which I only know half the characters, and I loved it all regardless. I think you've managed to do this with all of your crossovers now. I don't even fight the pull of your evilness anymore. *g*

LOVED the Krycek voice, and the comparisons he kept making to other crazy old men he'd worked for in the past was brilliant. Using the truth because it was just too funny to pass up was also great.

Whoot! Nice job, m'dear.

[vaznetti]

I don't even fight the pull of your evilness anymore.

I'm not sure whether that's reassuring or worrying. I may have to up the evilness quotient to get you to pay attention again!

No, but it really means a lot to me that people like you are still reading my new fic. Although I guess Krycek was a draw in this one. And the Krycek's-eye view of Sloane is pretty funny, because Sloane is probably crazier than CSM, even.

Thanks!

[shrift.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was fantabulous. Unca Arvin! I could totally see the crazy smile he's been sporting these days. A spooked Krycek is a bitter, lovely thing. I squee in your direction.

Oh, and Krycek's resentment of old men? Mm mm good. I love that. It's perfect. (Because, yes, I may have to, ahem, reference that as a reason for him to go work for Irina. Perhaps this weekend I'll actually be *home* for more than an hour so I can work on my own damn crossover.)

Bless you for responding to the challenge. Will archive this tonight if I can manage it, and will pimp you cheerfully.

[vaznetti]

I am so pleased to have actually written something for the crossover challenge, which as I may have said is pretty much tailor-made for my interests. And I'm glad this made you squee--it was a lot of fun to write, as Krycek got more and more spooked by Sloane's attack of altruism.

(Still stalking you for Krycek, Sark and Derevko. Because I know it will be a thing of beauty.)

[jcalanthe]

*falls over laughing* This is so awesome! I love the contrast between Sloane's very proper "tossed up on the beach by the retreat of the British Raj"-ness (what a great description of him that is) and Krycek's sarcastic grittiness. The climbing a mountain line totally cracked me up, and I agree, the 6 billion line is totally Krycek.

I can see why Krycek is creeped out by True Believer!Sloane, but he just cracks me up. Tho I suppose in actuality, there's not much scarier than a true believer, especially one as nuts as Sloane.

Add me to the chorus of folks who would love more in this world. I'm a crossover whore, but these 2 worlds fit together better than most, with a minimum of finagling. This was a perfect thing to read over breakfast to start the day in a good mood. :)

[vaznetti]

I'm so glad you liked it--it was a lot of fun to write. (The first time I tried writing from Sloane's pov, which just Did. Not. Work. But Krycek pov is a blast. He's so bitter.)

Rez and I might have to start a fan club for Crazy Uncle A. I just burst out laughing whenever I see him onscreen now.

I'll think about more. We'll see. The shows do work well together...

[ms-pie.livejournal.com]

Oh holy hell that was funny.

Loved your Kryceck and I absolutely loved seeing Sloane through his eyes.

Yay for fun, well-written, fabulously characterized fic :)

[vaznetti]

Thanks so mcuh! Writing Krycek point of view is always fun, especially when he's forced to deal with someone like Sloane!