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Tell me how you really feel.
Jun. 29th, 2011 09:59 amThere is a scene at the end of the first episode of Season 3 of Alias (maybe the second? was it a two-parter?) where some villain is about to run Sydney down, and she pulls her gun out of her handbag and fires. The car blows up. I do not necessarily need to do this in a cute red dress and heels, but I would really love to be able to do this.
Top of my list, people in North Oxford who drive Range Rovers. Especially those whose Range Rovers were suspiciously clean and shiny last week when it was raining. Especially those who do not slow down enough in car parks. Actually, people who do not slow down in car parks in general, especially ones which I am crossing with the pushchair, on the poorly-marked crosswalk. People, I am really, really glad that you are so confident in your sense of timing and know that I will get across before you reach me, but I am pushing a pushchair with a toddler in it, and that means that unexpected things can happen.
My only regret is that those unexpected things do not include my pulling out a bazooka and blowing you up in your car before your inability to find the brake pedal can become my problem.
Also bicyclists, especially those who ride on the sidewalk. Or in pedestrian zones. Or against the traffic on one-way streets. If you are on your bike, you are not a pedestrian. Get over it. If you want to be a pedestrian, get off your god-damn bike, don't just shoot along ringing your bell.
And of course language school students. Today getting off the bus I leaned down and said to Spartacus, "When you're older, you will not be a useless piece of waste-of-space Eurotrash like those three boys on the bus with us this morning." Why can't they just learn to get out of my way?
What? It's summer. I have a lot of rage to get out.
Top of my list, people in North Oxford who drive Range Rovers. Especially those whose Range Rovers were suspiciously clean and shiny last week when it was raining. Especially those who do not slow down enough in car parks. Actually, people who do not slow down in car parks in general, especially ones which I am crossing with the pushchair, on the poorly-marked crosswalk. People, I am really, really glad that you are so confident in your sense of timing and know that I will get across before you reach me, but I am pushing a pushchair with a toddler in it, and that means that unexpected things can happen.
My only regret is that those unexpected things do not include my pulling out a bazooka and blowing you up in your car before your inability to find the brake pedal can become my problem.
Also bicyclists, especially those who ride on the sidewalk. Or in pedestrian zones. Or against the traffic on one-way streets. If you are on your bike, you are not a pedestrian. Get over it. If you want to be a pedestrian, get off your god-damn bike, don't just shoot along ringing your bell.
And of course language school students. Today getting off the bus I leaned down and said to Spartacus, "When you're older, you will not be a useless piece of waste-of-space Eurotrash like those three boys on the bus with us this morning." Why can't they just learn to get out of my way?
What? It's summer. I have a lot of rage to get out.
