vaznetti: (still not king)
vaznetti ([personal profile] vaznetti) wrote2005-11-04 12:00 pm
Entry tags:

Roman Politics as a Fandom

So, Cicero and Pompey are, like, major BNFs. Cicero wrote the great epic that influenced everyone's view of canon (secretly, he prefers his version to canon, but don't we all) and Pompey wrote a set of very, very popular romances (although he's always been upset because his stuff never gets recommended on the really prestigious rec site run by Cato). They're good friends, even though each is a little jealous of the other. Then Caesar comes onto the scene, and his view of canon totally clashes with Cicero's. Pompey doesn't care about that kind of thing, though, and he's thrilled when Caesar starts beta-reading his stories -- and Caesar is really talented, so everyone can see the difference, and even Cato starts to pay Pompey a little more attention. Anyway, he finally puts Pompey on his friends list, since Pompey has had Cato's journal friended for, like, years.

Cato secretly hates Caesar, but he can't deny that the guy's got talent, and he knows it would look kind of petty not to recommend his fic.

Oh, and there used to be another BNF in this fandom, Crassus, but he sent some of his RPF slash to the actors and... you know, we don't really talk about Crassus any more.

Anyway, things are kind of tense between Cicero and Caesar, but Caesar makes a real effort -- he comes across one of Cicero's old wish lists and writes a story just for him, and he starts trying to get his view of canon to merge with Cicero's a little more. And Cicero is totally flattered, and he starts planning another major epic, which is going to include Caesar's OTP, and he makes show commentary posts in which he makes a big deal about the things that he and Caesar agree on, and starts quoting his opinions and stuff. Total love fest. They're on IM all the time.

So this makes Pompey really sulky, and it pisses Cato off, too, because he hates the thought of Caesar and Cicero getting to be such good friends. So Cato starts recommending Pompey's stories -- even his old stuff, from before Caesar started beta-reading for him. And you know, Pompey's just over the moon, and he feels totally vindicated, and he starts talking about how he doesn't need Caesar's help any more, and they have a huge fight in IM, which everybody knows about even though it's supposed to be private.

Now, at this point, Pompey and Caesar are totally bitching about each other in locked posts. And you know how it is with locked posts, nothing is really secret, and anyway, Cicero is on both their lists. Then some of the people on Pompey's friends list kind of goad him into making some rude comments about Caesar in public; meanwhile Caesar's friends keep asking him what he's going to do about it.

Things are getting really tense, especially when Curio, who has a lot of talent, makes a big, public post about how he's defriending Pompey and a bunch of his closest friends. Then Antony, one of Caesar's friends, starts flaming Pompey's stories and demanding that he apologize for the things he's been saying about Caesar. Plus he wins a major award that Domitius, one of Pompey's friends, thought he had totally stitched up. A lot of people say that the voting was rigged.

So Cicero, who had been totally gafiating for most of this time, comes back and he's all, "hey, what happened? why can't we all just get along?" And Caesar's all, "hey, don't worry about it, no one expects you to pick sides," but by then Pompey's friends are massively pissed off, and they're all, "the hell you say -- you totally have to pick sides!" because they've all just defriended everyone who has Caesar on their flist, and Cicero knows that if he doesn't do it too, Cato will never rec his stories again, and that really matters to Cicero, even though he gets tons of feedback, even from people who support Caesar...

Yeah. Poor Cicero. Poor me, because this metaphor broke down about three paragraphs up. Oh, and this is totally not aimed at anybody in RL fandom. It's all [livejournal.com profile] resmin and [livejournal.com profile] selenak's fault.

[identity profile] emilyenrose.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
*dies* Brilliant.

[identity profile] nolivingman.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just perfect. I love it.

[identity profile] saturnalia.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, and there used to be another BNF in this fandom, Crassus, but he sent some of his RPF slash to the actors and... you know, we don't really talk about Crassus any more.

*dead from Teh Funny*

[identity profile] chriswife.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, damn, this was a great way to start my day! Hilarious.

I have to put this in my memories!

[identity profile] nikitangel.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)
(here via musesfool) This is hilarious! I'm definitely bookmarking for later *g*
ashavah: (Default)

[personal profile] ashavah 2005-11-05 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
One of my friends recommended this to me.

This is so awesome. Especially Cicero's gafiating (I do have to feel a bit sorry for him, even if I think his fics are overrated). You are now my Hero of Roman Politics (TM).

May I friend you? I'm a classics student always looking out for new friends who are into classics.

Yours,

JK Ashavah

[identity profile] rochefort.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Inspired. Methosian in its wisdom, even. I loved it.
wychwood: chess queen against a runestone (Default)

[personal profile] wychwood 2005-11-05 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)
This is fantastic :)

[identity profile] kit-the-brave.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
You are so utterly brilliant! I actually understand Roman politics!

*hugs*

[identity profile] kakodaimon.livejournal.com 2005-11-05 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
We all know the first triumverate was an 0T3. A really angsty, dysfunctional OT3 maybe, but is there any other kind in fandom?

This was gold.

[identity profile] amelia-eve.livejournal.com 2005-11-06 10:09 am (UTC)(link)
LOVE!

[identity profile] gabby-silang.livejournal.com 2005-11-06 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know how I missed this when you first posted it, but.

They're on IM all the time.

*cannnot stop laughing* Oh, man. I really fucking love you. *wipes tear*

[identity profile] lysystratae.livejournal.com 2005-11-08 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
ROFL... brilliant

[identity profile] words-they-come.livejournal.com 2005-11-09 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
Brilliant.

[identity profile] witchwillow.livejournal.com 2005-11-15 07:17 am (UTC)(link)
The roommate (http://www.livejournal.com/users/witchqueen) linked me to this a while ago, and I've just read it. And it made me smile and reminds me of an analogy I made about list life years and years ago. About how it's a lot like King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

Community. Unexpected Friendships. Secret Love Affairs. Political Intrigue. Backbiting. Out of control great big hohahha.

Camelot. Rome. Atlantis maybe ? Except we've got no names for them. We just know that poor 'zine' sank to the bottom of the ocean.

[identity profile] kaseido.livejournal.com 2005-11-18 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
here via [personal profile] raincitygirl -

I am absolutely in awe. You nailed both Roman politcs *and* fandom!

*adores*

[identity profile] doomcrayon.livejournal.com 2005-11-24 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
You are my hero. You win.

[identity profile] mulled-mead.livejournal.com 2005-12-01 09:50 am (UTC)(link)
^________^ It was great.

[identity profile] ingridmatthews.livejournal.com 2005-12-01 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait until Forum_Wank gets a hold of THIS.

*snorts*

[identity profile] zanthinegirl.livejournal.com 2005-12-04 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
You made me snort coffee all over my keyboard with this!
missizzy: (inquisition)

[personal profile] missizzy 2006-06-23 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
But who's responsible for all the legging-puppets? Clodius? He did create at least one in the Bona_Dea community, I believe.

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