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"I would have invited Sirius Black, but I don't know where he is."
Further crossover madness. This one's for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eilanhp. We're obviously channeling each other.
In which Marita tries to cover her tracks, and Snape is not flattered.
Title: Meeting in Hogsmeade
Author: Vanzetti (vanzetti @ populli.net)
Category: HP/XF snippet
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Yet again I must state that the XFiles universe and the Harry Potter universe are the property of other people and organizations.
Her contact was waiting on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. "You're late again, Covarrubias. Some of us have hordes of screaming children to control."
"It's Sunday, Snape," she responded. "You don't teach today. The fresh air will do you good."
"I sincerely doubt it. Are those the new samples?"
She handed over the warded container. "Are you making any progress?"
"I believe I understand the way the consciousness melds itself to the matrix of the oil. It's quite ingenious."
"It's dangerous," she said.
"The most interesting things are, I find. If that's all?"
"A question, Snape," she said. He turned back to her in a whirl of black. She took a deep breath. "Narcissa is making a large party for Lucius. I must appear, and I must appear with an escort.
He tilted his head to one side. "Are you asking me to be that escort, Covarrubias?"
"Not for any romantic reasons, I assure you. But I must bring someone."
"How flattering."
[she says something about his suitability.] "Don't be awkward, Snape, please. I know you have no more interest in me than I have in you, but I need an insider and you've gone to some trouble to ensure that Lucius considers you pliable."
"Not bad, Covarrubias. Insult and blackmail. Unfortunately for you, I intend to have other plans that evening. Why so desperate, anyway? Narcissa must have found you someone especially dreadful."
"I need to distract her," she answered.
Watching Snape think was less enjoyable when his intelligence was focused on her own life, Marita found. She could almost see him raising and discarding possibilities. "It isn't someone she's found, is it? It's someone you've found. Who is it, a Gryffindor? No, it would be worse than that. A Muggle-born?"
"Worse."
"A Muggle? I see why you're desperate enough to ask me."
"Your ability to combine rudeness with self-pity never ceases to amaze me, Snape. I thought you might be interested in whatever Lucius is planning."
"Lucius only has one plan, and I already know it. Your problem, however, interests me."
"I've already had a full dose of horror mixed with prurient interest from Narcissa, thank you. As you've given me your answer, could we consider the subject closed?"
"I might change my mind, Marita," he said.
"To be perfectly honest, I'd forgotten how unpleasant you can be when I decided to ask you."
Snape barked out a laugh. "I had no idea you were capable of perfect honesty. Very well. If nothing else it will generate a refreshing amount of confusion."
"You mean..."
"Have you become an idiot? Your desperation touches my heart. I will aid and abet this deception of yours."
"You are only doing this to gain an advantage, aren't you?"
"What else would you expect?" he said. "I doubt we will meet before the party itself. Until then?" He bowed slightly before turning to go.
"Until then," she told his back.
I can't shake the feeling that I'm quoting Dunnett's Lymond Chronicles here, but that might just be Snape's tone. Also and more worryingly Patrick O'Brian. Because this is not going to turn into a Stephen and Diana roadshow. Oh no. I have an OTP to protect.
eilanhp. We're obviously channeling each other.In which Marita tries to cover her tracks, and Snape is not flattered.
Title: Meeting in Hogsmeade
Author: Vanzetti (vanzetti @ populli.net)
Category: HP/XF snippet
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Yet again I must state that the XFiles universe and the Harry Potter universe are the property of other people and organizations.
Her contact was waiting on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. "You're late again, Covarrubias. Some of us have hordes of screaming children to control."
"It's Sunday, Snape," she responded. "You don't teach today. The fresh air will do you good."
"I sincerely doubt it. Are those the new samples?"
She handed over the warded container. "Are you making any progress?"
"I believe I understand the way the consciousness melds itself to the matrix of the oil. It's quite ingenious."
"It's dangerous," she said.
"The most interesting things are, I find. If that's all?"
"A question, Snape," she said. He turned back to her in a whirl of black. She took a deep breath. "Narcissa is making a large party for Lucius. I must appear, and I must appear with an escort.
He tilted his head to one side. "Are you asking me to be that escort, Covarrubias?"
"Not for any romantic reasons, I assure you. But I must bring someone."
"How flattering."
[she says something about his suitability.] "Don't be awkward, Snape, please. I know you have no more interest in me than I have in you, but I need an insider and you've gone to some trouble to ensure that Lucius considers you pliable."
"Not bad, Covarrubias. Insult and blackmail. Unfortunately for you, I intend to have other plans that evening. Why so desperate, anyway? Narcissa must have found you someone especially dreadful."
"I need to distract her," she answered.
Watching Snape think was less enjoyable when his intelligence was focused on her own life, Marita found. She could almost see him raising and discarding possibilities. "It isn't someone she's found, is it? It's someone you've found. Who is it, a Gryffindor? No, it would be worse than that. A Muggle-born?"
"Worse."
"A Muggle? I see why you're desperate enough to ask me."
"Your ability to combine rudeness with self-pity never ceases to amaze me, Snape. I thought you might be interested in whatever Lucius is planning."
"Lucius only has one plan, and I already know it. Your problem, however, interests me."
"I've already had a full dose of horror mixed with prurient interest from Narcissa, thank you. As you've given me your answer, could we consider the subject closed?"
"I might change my mind, Marita," he said.
"To be perfectly honest, I'd forgotten how unpleasant you can be when I decided to ask you."
Snape barked out a laugh. "I had no idea you were capable of perfect honesty. Very well. If nothing else it will generate a refreshing amount of confusion."
"You mean..."
"Have you become an idiot? Your desperation touches my heart. I will aid and abet this deception of yours."
"You are only doing this to gain an advantage, aren't you?"
"What else would you expect?" he said. "I doubt we will meet before the party itself. Until then?" He bowed slightly before turning to go.
"Until then," she told his back.
I can't shake the feeling that I'm quoting Dunnett's Lymond Chronicles here, but that might just be Snape's tone. Also and more worryingly Patrick O'Brian. Because this is not going to turn into a Stephen and Diana roadshow. Oh no. I have an OTP to protect.
no subject
This I'm less certain about. It may be a question of interpretation. I don't think Snape really cares how he looks (visually) to others so long as they acknowledge that he's smarter than they ever could be. He cares about looking stupid, not about looking ugly. I agree that he uses his appearance to advantage, but I don't think that his physical appearance itself is ever the focus of his attention; I doubt, too, that he has much respect for people who would judge him by his appearance rather than his intelligence.
Re:
The people we hear talking about Snape's appearance, as in everything in the books, are Harry and Harry's cohorts (and Harry's dad's cohorts).
I don't think Snape much cares, he is focussed on the intellectual and anybody hooking up with him would be hooking up with the mind and not so much the body. But he does know he's scary looking, at least to little kids, and does his best to maintain that with the all black and the swooping. (I think this is why so many people have latched onto the gray nightshirt scene in GOF, because it is unusual and shows his vulnerability.)
I have a theory that this is largely because he's either the youngest or one of the youngest teachers at Hogwarts. And he doesn't have the instant authority of somebody with a long white beard. So if he scares the shit out of you, which he also enjoys because it's about power over you, he never has class discipline problems. And it's more than that, too. Snape likes being a badass, it's clear when he "duels" with Lockhart and all that. And his rep for knowing so much about the Dark Arts back when he was a student. He has embraced his scary and creepiness and makes it work for him, which is a positive attitude about it. He's actually wildly optimistic about everything in his own negative way.
He's such a freak. I love him so.