I think you are being very tactful. I would be rolling my eyes and probably have descended into rudeness by now.

Considering he seemed to venerate Mary (plus Ellen and Missouri both would've whapped him one). It's just highly unlikely.

Yeah, and Missouri knows what you're thinking. Would she really agree to help him if he were deeply sexist (or racist)? I mean, if anything, it's the final absence of John which has let this side of Dean come out.